A lot happens when you turn 50. I thought I would feel "old" but that hasn't hit me yet. What has happened is realizing a stronger awareness of who I am and why I am here. I've learned there are others who have doubts about themselves the same as me, whether or not they are dealing with a chronic illness. The MS is now secondary-progressive with brain atrophy (my brain is shrinking faster than normal). But only on the right side. And I am still walking; clumsily at times, but walking. Keeping a sense of humor really helps. Along with all of that, my One-A-Day's graduated to Senior (Yikes!). As if from age 49 to 50 I need something different now. Via my doctor's orders I am low-fat, lactose-free, caffeine-free and I reluctantly slowed way down on chocolate. Twizzlers are still my downfall. There's nothing like watching a movie and downing a half-bag of the Strawberry ones. Even so, I have lost, so far, 40 unwanted pounds that I acquired living on a farm eating Southern cooking. In-home walking is something I try to do three times a week. Now that it's getting nice, I'm out when I can be. We fifty-somethings can't just lollygag around all day and eat Twizzlers, you know. Our tushes won't stand for it. I have my first Smart Phone. Hey, that's a big deal to me. Also, at least for now, I've decided not to color my hair. The white streaks on the sides don't really bother me. I like it - it's kind of Rogue-ish. Besides, every color I've tried just looks fake. Another good side of turning 50 is that menopause is a thing of the past for me. Very important. I joined an awesome church in what is probably the most enjoyable place I have ever lived. And I have lived A LOT of places. It is a place where people love each other and others as Jesus intended. We don't hide our imperfections but bring them out and talk about them. God knows anyway. My husband and each of my children have gotten something that they really wanted, so that makes me happy. What the future holds, I do not know nor would I want to know. But my guess is that Lord willing, if I get there, I will be able to look back and say that 50 was my favorite age.
